How do you do the best for someone who has wronged or betrayed you? Especially when they still need your help?
The only way you can truly help them is to forgive them unconditionally.
Forgiveness with conditions, i.e. the offender doing what I think is right- whether its some practical decision to fix things or a simple apology- is really just a way we want them to earn our forgiveness.
- But unconditional forgiveness keeps me from the emotional rollercoaster of the both the best and the worst outcome.
Because only when I forgive unconditionally, not based on them doing what I want, does it allows me to act truly in their best interest. Because I’m not manipulated by the sometimes irrational hope that everything is going to be all right; or the despondency of “its never going to get better.”
- My action for their benefit is not tied to an irrational hope that everything is going to be alright.
- And my action is also not triggered only by their failure to do want I want.
So in both cases, I am able to stay off the rollercoaster and act independently of their actions, or my demands, and do what’s best.