Difficult People

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Life together is hard. And wouldn’t you know it, people are the leading cause.

We have difficult relationships with people, because we have a difficult relationship with God. We cannot be reconciled to humanity until we are reconciled with its creator:

For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. (Romans 5:10-11)

When we disconnect our desire for acceptance from the only true giver of acceptance- God- it distorts every other relationship in our life.

It causes me to see people only as a means to that acceptance. I’m using them. Life becomes all about acceptance. And because I’m desperate to be accepted I’m:

  • Over-competitive: I have to be successful at all costs- even if I have to cheat or lie.
  • Prideful: I want others to see.
  • Judgmental– put others on defense to take the spotlight off of my own flaws.
  • Offended: I virtue signal. I must be more virtuous than you since I have standards.
  • Addicted: to social media- every time my phone chimes with a like or fav a little blast of dopamine squirts into my brain- ahhh.

When we over desire to be accepted by anyone but God- its that very separation from God that is the cause.

All of our relationships our out of joint, and we need to be rescued. (Romans 5: 8 and 2 Corinthians 5: 20). Therefore, the first and primary focus of any real relationship rescue is to have our relationship with God put right again.

The gospel is news about what has been done by Jesus Christ to put right our relationship with God.

Becoming a Christian is about a change of status. You are either accepted through Christ or you are not.

If you’re not a Christian– that’s where the drive to get better comes from- that pesky morality that rears its head called your conscious.

And if you are a Christian– we still have issues. Because even though we agree that Christ died for our acceptance by God- we go on acting like it isn’t enough.

There should be a deep security in knowing we are accepted by the Lord of the universe through Jesus- so we should be looking at people in a whole new light.

Author: Blake Dumais

Life Group Pastor at Cedar Run Community Church.

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